“Gosh, I wish animals could buy a life insurance policy. Poor dears, I feel so sorry for them – they are being killed all the time. Just last week I was gifted a fur coat made out of Yak's hair and I returned it back !”Mariah Caddy told her friend from PETA when they'd gone out dining together.
“Mariah, don't talk rubbish! How can animals buy a Tampa life insurance policy! How stupid! By the way, that cookie you are munching on may have been made using pig bristles!”
“Honey, if I was an animal, I'd have shown you how easy it'd have been to buy a life insurance policy using the web site, JoeFloridaInsurance.com! Cookies have pig bristles! Get outta here! I'll stop eating cookies from here on, happy?”
“Not exactly. That perfume you're sloshing on contains caseins, which are phospho proteins derived from animals! And all you do is yak about animals needing a life insurance policy!”
“Shucks, Y'mean I shouldn't use perfumes! I'll smell like a barf bag, honey! OK, I'll stop using perfumes! God, why did I ever bring up the topic of animals being able to buy affordable health insurance!”
“Yeah, you shouldn't have been talking about animals buying a Tampa life insurance policy right in front of a PETA member, Mariah! Now you've got me all started up! Those French fries you're nibbling on are fried in beef tallow and the Viagra you take every night has been mercilessly tested on rats! And all you do is yak about animals not being able to buy a policy!”
“Hey, hey, hey, cool it honey, don't tell anyone about that Viagra bit and I'll never ever make fun of animals and their policy, ever!”
That was about Maraih, her PETA friend, animals and a policy.
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Go ahead and apply for one, it won't yak back!